Here we go again

Question:

>> What program was it and where did you find it? > It's called Trommler and you can probably find it by searching google, > the URL escapes me now.  It only runs under Linux though so if you're a > Windows person it won't work for you.  That said I'm sure there are > plenty of free drum machines for Windows available.

I don't know if it's still available, but back in the day when I was still a Windows person I was always fond of Hammerhead, which was a free drum machine. The guy who coded it was promptly snapped up to work at Steinberg on Cubase, so it comes with good pedigree. A quick google shows it currently living at http://www.threechords.com/hammerhead/ . Enjoy. -- Alex Pounds (Creature)                  .~.               LGBTSoc Comms Person CS2 Student                             /V        Website working group chair                                        // \    Environmental committee member "Variables won't; Constants aren't"   /(   )                                        ^`~'^

Response:

- Hide quoted text -- Show quoted text -> After years of not even taking it out of the case I have once again > decided to take up learning the guitar. I originally bought my strat back > in 89 and never actually played it, although I did play around with it for > a couple years. I could play lots of little clapton or page riffs but > never learned how to actually play it. That is to say I couldn't actually > play a song with it. This time I'm going to start from scratch and try to > do it the right way. Along those lines I thought I would document what I > plan on doing differently this time. Maybe someone will benefit from my > previous mistakes. > 1) Always practice with a metronome/drum machine. I had neither the first > time around. I have downloaded a niftly little drum machine for my PC > which I'm using now and it's really been a lot of fun. Much more fun than > a boring click click click, I've got some funky beats going on and it's > been a blast.

<snip> What program was it and where did you find it?

Response:

- Hide quoted text -- Show quoted text -> After years of not even taking it out of the case I have once again > decided to take up learning the guitar. I originally bought my strat > back in 89 and never actually played it, although I did play around > with it for a couple years. I could play lots of little clapton or page > riffs but never learned how to actually play it. That is to say I > couldn't actually play a song with it. This time I'm going to start > from scratch and try to do it the right way. Along those lines I > thought I would document what I plan on doing differently this time. > Maybe someone will benefit from my previous mistakes. > 1) Always practice with a metronome/drum machine. I had neither the > first time around. I have downloaded a niftly little drum machine for > my PC which I'm using now and it's really been a lot of fun. Much more > fun than a boring click click click, I've got some funky beats going on > and it's been a blast. > <snip> > What program was it and where did you find it?

It's called Trommler and you can probably find it by searching google, the URL escapes me now. It's nothing fancy but real easy to figure out and actually pretty slick. It only runs under Linux though so if you're a Windows person it won't work for you. That said I'm sure there are plenty of free drum machines for Windows available.

Response:

After years of not even taking it out of the case I have once again decided to take up learning the guitar. I originally bought my strat back in 89 and never actually played it, although I did play around with it for a couple years. I could play lots of little clapton or page riffs but never learned how to actually play it. That is to say I couldn't actually play a song with it. This time I'm going to start from scratch and try to do it the right way. Along those lines I thought I would document what I plan on doing differently this time. Maybe someone will benefit from my previous mistakes. 1) Always practice with a metronome/drum machine. I had neither the first time around. I have downloaded a niftly little drum machine for my PC which I'm using now and it's really been a lot of fun. Much more fun than a boring click click click, I've got some funky beats going on and it's been a blast. 2) Start with the chords and learn to play rythem first, then worry about creating some soulful solos. Also I'm making it a point to not only learn to play chords but also to know the names of the ones I'm playing. Plus I've already learned more about chord progressions in two weeks than I cared to know about it in two years. 3) Practice with a purpose. I'm setting little goals and trying to achieve them. My first goal is to learn "Down by the River" and I'm actually getting there. 5 chords and lots of foot stomping baby!! 4) Music theory. The dreaded music theory. I'm going to make an effort to understand it, only the basics at first, but in order to create my own style, which is what I really want to do, it looks like I need to have an understanding of the theory behind it all. 5) I bought a new little tube amp as a motivator. Well, okay, this one is probably not a real necessity but my first amp was a crappy little Crate (which doesn't sound bad for what it is) but if I'm going to spend some time practicing I want to really enjoy the noises I'm making. 6) Listen. I'm going to listen. I'm going to try to concentrate on listening to what I play instead of trying to mechanically learn the notes. I guess this may help me to rationalize point number 5 too :) Along those lines I'm going to practice with no reverb and no grunge but with just the clean notes. 7) Start slowly and do it right instead of trying to do things fast and sloppy. This has been tough for me as I tend to be a "I want it right away" kinda person, but  so far so good. 8) Play time. After practice I'm then going to allow myself some time to "dink around" with it, this is when the reverb and digital delay pedal/echo pedal come out. After all, it has to be fun plus I still have a pretty good grasp of the blues scales (it came back pretty quick, surprisingly, although I did spend qute a bit of time on them before) and it is fun to make up little riffs. So that's about it for now. I've been lurking here and reading lots of older posts via google groups and I'm finding the answer to every question I've had thus far. The Internet sure makes it easier to learn just about anything these days. Thanks to all who have participated here over the years.

Response:

I told you guys that since my car accident back in Feb., my BG's were almost normal with out taking insulin.This part was puzzling but wonderful. Well the honeymoon is over. I woke up this morning with BG's at 254, WOW! I have to try and control them, for the next few months with insulin and diet, as I'm still healing and can't exercise yet. No not even walking. If you have any suggestions for me it would be most appreciated. I'll also let you know how I am proceeding. Thanks Bob

Response:

Did you have a bad carb day yesterday?

. - Hide quoted text -- Show quoted text -> I told you guys that since my car accident back in Feb., my BG's were almost > normal with out taking insulin.This part was puzzling but wonderful. Well > the honeymoon is over. I woke up this morning with BG's at 254, WOW! > I have to try and control them, for the next few months with insulin and > diet, as I'm still healing and can't exercise yet. No not even walking. > If you have any suggestions for me it would be most appreciated. > I'll also let you know how I am proceeding. > Thanks > Bob

Response:

Bad yesterday, and just as bad today. I just opened a new bottle of NPH, maybe the one I was using went bad.

- Hide quoted text -- Show quoted text -> Did you have a bad carb day yesterday? > . > I told you guys that since my car accident back in Feb., > my BG's were almost > normal with out taking insulin.This part was puzzling but > wonderful. Well > the honeymoon is over. I woke up this morning with BG's at > 254, WOW! > I have to try and control them, for the next few months > with insulin and > diet, as I'm still healing and can't exercise yet. No not > even walking. > If you have any suggestions for me it would be most > appreciated. > I'll also let you know how I am proceeding. > Thanks > Bob

Response:

The party' over, it is time to call a day.  You enjoyed it while you could.  Now, it is back to basics.  I am sure you know wht to do so you dont need me to inform you of that.  I am sure that in a couple of weaks of watching andt testing, you will be back to the place you want to be. Loretta

Response:

Thanks, hope so. :-)

- Hide quoted text -- Show quoted text -> The party' over, it is time to call a day.  You enjoyed it while you > could.  Now, it is back to basics.  I am sure you know wht to do so you > dont need me to inform you of that.  I am sure that in a couple of weaks > of watching andt testing, you will be back to the place you want to be. > Loretta

Response:

>Bad yesterday, and just as bad today. I just opened a new bottle of NPH, >maybe the one I was using went bad.

Bob...... joy..... don't you just love it when you have to suspect everything and nothing!...... it's approaching day 3.... have you started with a cold or flu?.... or was it the NPH that was out of whack? i just pitched the last 1/3 of my UL....... and who knows?... it could be hormonal, and might not be -- k t1 13 yr

Response:

BG's were down to 154 this morning. So maybe the old bottle was bad. I will let you know how I do over the next week

- Hide quoted text -- Show quoted text ->Bad yesterday, and just as bad today. I just opened a new bottle of NPH, >maybe the one I was using went bad. > Bob...... joy..... don't you just love it when you have to suspect > everything and nothing!...... > it's approaching day 3.... have you started with a cold or flu?.... or was > it the NPH that was out of whack? > i just pitched the last 1/3 of my UL....... and who knows?... it could be > hormonal, and might not be > -- > k t1 13 yr

Response:

my fingers crossed that it was just the bottle of NPH and nothing else take care, -- k t1 13 yr - Hide quoted text -- Show quoted text - >BG's were down to 154 this morning. So maybe the old bottle was bad. I will >let you know how I do over the next week > >Bad yesterday, and just as bad today. I just opened a new bottle of NPH, > >maybe the one I was using went bad. > Bob...... joy..... don't you just love it when you have to suspect > everything and nothing!...... > it's approaching day 3.... have you started with a cold or flu?.... or was > it the NPH that was out of whack? > i just pitched the last 1/3 of my UL....... and who knows?... it could be > hormonal, and might not be > -- > k t1 13 yr

Response:

This is not a hopeless situation at all! I have a cat that I caught as a wild kitten and after one week he was a total sweetheart! The fact that this kitten is so young is a good thing,as they are much easier to tame.You will need  to get a live trap to catch the kitten.When you get him,take him to the vet,in the trap, and get him tested for worms,FeLV and FIV.Then you can bring him home and start working with him.Here is a great website that has information on trapping cats and how to tame feral kittens: http://www.feralcat.com Please let us know how things are going. Megan

Here we go again   Hi, Once again same story ! Last saturday, returning from shopping, I found a small kitten in my backyard. I live in the center of Brussels but have a fairly large garden. When I tried to touch it, it went wild and bit me right in the finger - hard ! After a short visit to the doctor for some shots I wisely retreated and limited my actions to "observing" from a distance. Incredible ...it's such a tiny little thing. I've been feeding it since then but it keeps hissing and growling whenever I get near it. It even manages to growl while eating. I don't really know what to do. I allready have three cats, two adopted more or less the same way with the differende they came to me and decided to adopt me. This one doesn't seem the least bit interested in being friends. I may find someone to adopt it but I don't want to impose an agressive, a-social animal (for the next 15 years or so) on them. It may also be infected with cat-aids. Bringing it to the shelter was my first idea but they may put it donw immediatly, taking in account the number of well adapted socialized cats they already have. For the moment I'm just feeding and talking, hoping it will get to trust me. If it's really "wild" (never been among people before) can it be domesticated or is this a lost case ? It's really frustrating to see how kittens born in a good home actually seek and enjoy the company of humans while this one hates our guts. Well OK,......I know it's scared to death a feels treathned.

Response:

I agree with Megan...feralcat.com is the site I used to trap and tame our ferals.  Good luck!  lmg  _  Laura M. Grindle   _ /   _      ,_   _

Response:

Hate to add a "me too" post here, but I must.  The little kitten I just trapped and tamed was wild as the dickens when I first caught her.  She hissed and growled and acted like she'd hate me forever.  Two days later, she was snuggled in my arms purring.  Do catch her, bring her in, and tame her.  When they're young, it's very easy to get them to come around.  Make physical contact with her as soon as you can after you catch her.  Be careful.  As you've already found out, even a little tiny kitten can bite really hard.  But they're just frightened and are defending their very lives (they think).  Good luck! Eva - Hide quoted text -- Show quoted text - > I agree with Megan...feralcat.com is the site I used to trap and tame > our ferals.  Good luck! >  lmg  _  Laura M. Grindle >   _ /   _      ,_   _

Response:

The sweetest cats that I have are the ones that scratched and bit me the hardest the first time I picked them up. - Hide quoted text -- Show quoted text - >Hi, Once again same story ! >Last saturday, returning from shopping, I found a small kitten in my >backyard. I live in the center of Brussels but have a fairly large garden. >When I tried to touch it, it went wild and bit me right in the finger - hard >! After a short visit to the doctor for some shots I wisely retreated and >limited my actions to "observing" from a distance. Incredible ...it's such a >tiny little thing. >I've been feeding it since then but it keeps hissing and growling whenever I >get near it. It even manages to growl while eating. I don't really know what >to do. >I allready have three cats, two adopted more or less the same way with the >differende they came to me and decided to adopt me. This one doesn't seem >the least bit interested in being friends. I may find someone to adopt it >but I don't want to impose an agressive, a-social animal (for the next 15 >years or so) on them. It may also be infected with cat-aids. Bringing it to >the shelter was my first idea but they may put it donw immediatly, taking in >account the number of well adapted socialized cats they already have. >For the moment I'm just feeding and talking, hoping it will get to trust me. >If it's really "wild" (never been among people before) can it be >domesticated  or is this a lost case ? >It's really frustrating to see how kittens born in a good home actually seek >and enjoy  the company of humans while this one hates our guts. >Well OK,......I know it's scared to death a feels treathned.

Response:

Hi, Once again same story ! Last saturday, returning from shopping, I found a small kitten in my backyard. I live in the center of Brussels but have a fairly large garden. When I tried to touch it, it went wild and bit me right in the finger - hard ! After a short visit to the doctor for some shots I wisely retreated and limited my actions to "observing" from a distance. Incredible ...it's such a tiny little thing. I've been feeding it since then but it keeps hissing and growling whenever I get near it. It even manages to growl while eating. I don't really know what to do. I allready have three cats, two adopted more or less the same way with the differende they came to me and decided to adopt me. This one doesn't seem the least bit interested in being friends. I may find someone to adopt it but I don't want to impose an agressive, a-social animal (for the next 15 years or so) on them. It may also be infected with cat-aids. Bringing it to the shelter was my first idea but they may put it donw immediatly, taking in account the number of well adapted socialized cats they already have. For the moment I'm just feeding and talking, hoping it will get to trust me. If it's really "wild" (never been among people before) can it be domesticated  or is this a lost case ? It's really frustrating to see how kittens born in a good home actually seek and enjoy  the company of humans while this one hates our guts. Well OK,......I know it's scared to death a feels treathned.

Response:

This is not a hopeless situation at all! I have a cat that I caught as a wild kitten and after one week he was a total sweetheart! The fact that this kitten is so young is a good thing,as they are much easier to tame.You will need  to get a live trap to catch the kitten.When you get him,take him to the vet,in the trap, and get him tested for worms,FeLV and FIV.Then you can bring him home and start working with him.Here is a great website that has information on trapping cats and how to tame feral kittens: http://www.feralcat.com Please let us know how things are going. Megan

Here we go again   Hi, Once again same story ! Last saturday, returning from shopping, I found a small kitten in my backyard. I live in the center of Brussels but have a fairly large garden. When I tried to touch it, it went wild and bit me right in the finger - hard ! After a short visit to the doctor for some shots I wisely retreated and limited my actions to "observing" from a distance. Incredible ...it's such a tiny little thing. I've been feeding it since then but it keeps hissing and growling whenever I get near it. It even manages to growl while eating. I don't really know what to do. I allready have three cats, two adopted more or less the same way with the differende they came to me and decided to adopt me. This one doesn't seem the least bit interested in being friends. I may find someone to adopt it but I don't want to impose an agressive, a-social animal (for the next 15 years or so) on them. It may also be infected with cat-aids. Bringing it to the shelter was my first idea but they may put it donw immediatly, taking in account the number of well adapted socialized cats they already have. For the moment I'm just feeding and talking, hoping it will get to trust me. If it's really "wild" (never been among people before) can it be domesticated or is this a lost case ? It's really frustrating to see how kittens born in a good home actually seek and enjoy the company of humans while this one hates our guts. Well OK,......I know it's scared to death a feels treathned.

Response:

I agree with Megan...feralcat.com is the site I used to trap and tame our ferals.  Good luck!  lmg  _  Laura M. Grindle   _ /   _      ,_   _

Response:

Hate to add a "me too" post here, but I must.  The little kitten I just trapped and tamed was wild as the dickens when I first caught her.  She hissed and growled and acted like she'd hate me forever.  Two days later, she was snuggled in my arms purring.  Do catch her, bring her in, and tame her.  When they're young, it's very easy to get them to come around.  Make physical contact with her as soon as you can after you catch her.  Be careful.  As you've already found out, even a little tiny kitten can bite really hard.  But they're just frightened and are defending their very lives (they think).  Good luck! Eva - Hide quoted text -- Show quoted text - > I agree with Megan...feralcat.com is the site I used to trap and tame > our ferals.  Good luck! >  lmg  _  Laura M. Grindle >   _ /   _      ,_   _

Response:

The sweetest cats that I have are the ones that scratched and bit me the hardest the first time I picked them up. - Hide quoted text -- Show quoted text - >Hi, Once again same story ! >Last saturday, returning from shopping, I found a small kitten in my >backyard. I live in the center of Brussels but have a fairly large garden. >When I tried to touch it, it went wild and bit me right in the finger - hard >! After a short visit to the doctor for some shots I wisely retreated and >limited my actions to "observing" from a distance. Incredible ...it's such a >tiny little thing. >I've been feeding it since then but it keeps hissing and growling whenever I >get near it. It even manages to growl while eating. I don't really know what >to do. >I allready have three cats, two adopted more or less the same way with the >differende they came to me and decided to adopt me. This one doesn't seem >the least bit interested in being friends. I may find someone to adopt it >but I don't want to impose an agressive, a-social animal (for the next 15 >years or so) on them. It may also be infected with cat-aids. Bringing it to >the shelter was my first idea but they may put it donw immediatly, taking in >account the number of well adapted socialized cats they already have. >For the moment I'm just feeding and talking, hoping it will get to trust me. >If it's really "wild" (never been among people before) can it be >domesticated  or is this a lost case ? >It's really frustrating to see how kittens born in a good home actually seek >and enjoy  the company of humans while this one hates our guts. >Well OK,......I know it's scared to death a feels treathned.

Response:

Hi, Once again same story ! Last saturday, returning from shopping, I found a small kitten in my backyard. I live in the center of Brussels but have a fairly large garden. When I tried to touch it, it went wild and bit me right in the finger - hard ! After a short visit to the doctor for some shots I wisely retreated and limited my actions to "observing" from a distance. Incredible ...it's such a tiny little thing. I've been feeding it since then but it keeps hissing and growling whenever I get near it. It even manages to growl while eating. I don't really know what to do. I allready have three cats, two adopted more or less the same way with the differende they came to me and decided to adopt me. This one doesn't seem the least bit interested in being friends. I may find someone to adopt it but I don't want to impose an agressive, a-social animal (for the next 15 years or so) on them. It may also be infected with cat-aids. Bringing it to the shelter was my first idea but they may put it donw immediatly, taking in account the number of well adapted socialized cats they already have. For the moment I'm just feeding and talking, hoping it will get to trust me. If it's really "wild" (never been among people before) can it be domesticated  or is this a lost case ? It's really frustrating to see how kittens born in a good home actually seek and enjoy  the company of humans while this one hates our guts. Well OK,......I know it's scared to death a feels treathned.

Response:

I've been down that road, and it is definitely the road to Hell. The antibiotics are a vicious circle. The body eventually becomes resisitant to one, so you have to use another. Eventually, you run out of antibiotics. In the meantime, you're probably destroying much of the healthy flora in your stomach, setting you up for more problems. The benzoyle peroxide is also a bandaid solution at best. It isn't addressing the root of the problem, and to do that, you need to work from the inisde out. If you haven't already, I'd recommend reading some of the B5 posts on this board. Here are also some links to get you started: http://www.absoluteacneinfo.com/cgi-bin/acne-forum/acne-board.cgi?az=... unt&om=77&forum=DCForumID1&archive=yes http://www.roche.com/vitamins/what/anh/vits/pan_acid.html Also, here's a link to a book that will tell you why many of the foods you may be eating now are making things worse. It will also tell you *how* to eat for optimum health (and no, it isn't low-carb): http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0471413909/qid=1013466732/sr=8... sr_8_3_1/103-9577083-7123052 Regards, --Will P.S. I'd recommend throwing the antibiotics and Benzoyl peroxide in the garbage...

- Hide quoted text -- Show quoted text -> Just when you think you have figured out that perfect daily method to keep > your face looking tolerable, it sneaks back again.  Back down to the tenth > level of hell Im headed.  Almost a year ago I started antibiotics which > killed my acne for about 4 months, then it started to creep back.  Then I > stayed on them and started using oxy benzoyl peroxide wash and it became > tolerable for another couple months.  Now its creeping back again, so I am > using the wash morning and night and in the morning Im using 'purpose spf 15 > moisurizer' and am very nervous, I so hope that it doesnt become worse.  I > hate using so much crap on my face, There is a fine line between helping the > looks of ones skin and using too much crap and killing it.  I hate acne more > than anything I have experienced. > ~s

Response:

Just when you think you have figured out that perfect daily method to keep your face looking tolerable, it sneaks back again.  Back down to the tenth level of hell Im headed.  Almost a year ago I started antibiotics which killed my acne for about 4 months, then it started to creep back.  Then I stayed on them and started using oxy benzoyl peroxide wash and it became tolerable for another couple months.  Now its creeping back again, so I am using the wash morning and night and in the morning Im using 'purpose spf 15 moisurizer' and am very nervous, I so hope that it doesnt become worse.  I hate using so much crap on my face, There is a fine line between helping the looks of ones skin and using too much crap and killing it.  I hate acne more than anything I have experienced. ~s

Response:

I've been down that road, and it is definitely the road to Hell. The antibiotics are a vicious circle. The body eventually becomes resisitant to one, so you have to use another. Eventually, you run out of antibiotics. In the meantime, you're probably destroying much of the healthy flora in your stomach, setting you up for more problems. The benzoyle peroxide is also a bandaid solution at best. It isn't addressing the root of the problem, and to do that, you need to work from the inisde out. If you haven't already, I'd recommend reading some of the B5 posts on this board. Here are also some links to get you started: http://www.absoluteacneinfo.com/cgi-bin/acne-forum/acne-board.cgi?az=... unt&om=77&forum=DCForumID1&archive=yes http://www.roche.com/vitamins/what/anh/vits/pan_acid.html Also, here's a link to a book that will tell you why many of the foods you may be eating now are making things worse. It will also tell you *how* to eat for optimum health (and no, it isn't low-carb): http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0471413909/qid=1013466732/sr=8... sr_8_3_1/103-9577083-7123052 Regards, --Will P.S. I'd recommend throwing the antibiotics and Benzoyl peroxide in the garbage...

- Hide quoted text -- Show quoted text -> Just when you think you have figured out that perfect daily method to keep > your face looking tolerable, it sneaks back again.  Back down to the tenth > level of hell Im headed.  Almost a year ago I started antibiotics which > killed my acne for about 4 months, then it started to creep back.  Then I > stayed on them and started using oxy benzoyl peroxide wash and it became > tolerable for another couple months.  Now its creeping back again, so I am > using the wash morning and night and in the morning Im using 'purpose spf 15 > moisurizer' and am very nervous, I so hope that it doesnt become worse.  I > hate using so much crap on my face, There is a fine line between helping the > looks of ones skin and using too much crap and killing it.  I hate acne more > than anything I have experienced. > ~s

Response:

Just when you think you have figured out that perfect daily method to keep your face looking tolerable, it sneaks back again.  Back down to the tenth level of hell Im headed.  Almost a year ago I started antibiotics which killed my acne for about 4 months, then it started to creep back.  Then I stayed on them and started using oxy benzoyl peroxide wash and it became tolerable for another couple months.  Now its creeping back again, so I am using the wash morning and night and in the morning Im using 'purpose spf 15 moisurizer' and am very nervous, I so hope that it doesnt become worse.  I hate using so much crap on my face, There is a fine line between helping the looks of ones skin and using too much crap and killing it.  I hate acne more than anything I have experienced. ~s

Response:

> Why is it that depression just sorta sneaks up on you.  There is no > warning no little smoke signals nothing.  You just are there one > morning.  I've been fine and now all of the sudden I feel like the world > is crashing down around my feet and all I want to do is sleep.

Dunno why, but I've watched it happen to Melynda. Going along just fine, happy, working hard, no particular stress or problems, and boom. Often overnight, but I've seen it come over her in the middle of the day. Sometimes the first sign is oversleeping, but often she just starts feeling the twinges, says she feels funny, often scared. Anyone who thinks this is psychological should watch someone getting hit by it. Edward Reid

Response:

Hi Lisa Ann, boy can I relate, I just got out of the hospital today after dog paddling through 3 months of depression, rapid cycling then damn near ending it all a week ago last Tuesday.  I know what you mean. I would wake up in the morning so increadably depressed and no matter what it just wouldnt go away, my answer was to end my life.  Bottom line is that I think it is the bipolar illness that I am mad at and if I kill the bipolar It takes me with it.  Please hang in there and see your doc. I did not take that advise because I am one of these people who feels like, uh I dont want to bother my doc, I will just wait until my next appointment. Well instead of an appointment, I could have had a funeral. Call your doc and get your meds adjusted or ask to add another antidepressant or mood stabilizer.  Dont let it go to long and dont let it kill you.  Best of luck!!!!

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- Hide quoted text -- Show quoted text - > Why is it that depression just sorta sneaks up on you.  There is no > warning no little smoke signals nothing.  You just are there one > morning.  I've been fine and now all of the sudden I feel like the world > is crashing down around my feet and all I want to do is sleep.  I have > no energy and I basically don't like myself.  It just was there one > morning.  I see my pdoc Friday but what more can he do for me.  Maybe or > at least I'm beginning the believe that some people are just destined to > be depressed to always have that huge black cloud hanging over there > heads.  I feel myself slipping away and getting a little more reckless > all the time.  I think about suicide and how the lives of those around > me would be different.  I went as far as to ask my boyfriend if he would > be sad if I were dead.  I don't know what to do at this point.  I don't > know when I should go to the hospital and talk to someone and when to > just let things pass.  I don't want to eat, or do anything but sleep > right now everything else is just a chore.  Something I have to do I > feel like I'm just going through the motions of living and not actually > living.  So does anyone have any advice or help for me. > Sincerely, > Lisa Ann

Dear Lisa Ann, It sounds as if you are experiencing a bona fide clinical depression. Please call your pdoc and let him know how you are feeeling. I know you have the appt. on Fri. but why wait that long? There are measures that can be taken to help you. If you are not taking an AD, then that is one option. ADS are tricky with BPs as they have the potential of triggering a manic episode. Hopefully , with the coverage of a mood  stabilizer that will not occur. If you are taking an AD then perhaps you need an increase in dosage or even a switch to another AD. Please continue to let us know how you are feeling and doing. Please don't despair Lisa Ann. We know how you feel. We have been there and believe that it will pass. It does take time. The important thing is that you feel safe. If you need to go to the hospital, do so. Anything it takes. You are worth it. ((((((((((((((((((Lisa Ann)))))))))))))))) Take care and stay safe, -- ----- ... Something Deep!

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Why is it that depression just sorta sneaks up on you.  There is no warning no little smoke signals nothing.  You just are there one morning.  I've been fine and now all of the sudden I feel like the world is crashing down around my feet and all I want to do is sleep.  I have no energy and I basically don't like myself.  It just was there one morning.  I see my pdoc Friday but what more can he do for me.  Maybe or at least I'm beginning the believe that some people are just destined to be depressed to always have that huge black cloud hanging over there heads.  I feel myself slipping away and getting a little more reckless all the time.  I think about suicide and how the lives of those around me would be different.  I went as far as to ask my boyfriend if he would be sad if I were dead.  I don't know what to do at this point.  I don't know when I should go to the hospital and talk to someone and when to just let things pass.  I don't want to eat, or do anything but sleep right now everything else is just a chore.  Something I have to do I feel like I'm just going through the motions of living and not actually living.  So does anyone have any advice or help for me. Sincerely, Lisa Ann

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Hello, I'm new here (Mon.19 June), and this NG kicks butt. Most of the posts are right up there. Cheers Nickf

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welcome to the group! -- For info about this service, see http://www.twwells.com/anon/ or e-mail:

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: I've been much better over the weekend but now.... here we go again. : It seems so pathetic, to crumble because my husband has gone to work. Hello Jackie,  I seldom respond to your posts, but almost always read them.  I feel so reluctant  to reach out to you, why? I feel like the poor swimmer  who sees another drowning and is torn between self preservation and rescue, to take the dive or not.  Does this post amount to throwing you a cinder block for help, that is certainly not my intention.  It is just the early morning ramblings of a kindred soul across the Atlantic. Clumsily explaining why you hear so little from me. Vern

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I've been much better over the weekend but now.... here we go again. It seems so pathetic, to crumble because my husband has gone to work. And it is annoying him too. 'Be positive and it won't happen.' he says, and I will do my best, I promise, but I can't promise it won't happen. Part of his concern is that he doesn't want to go to work if I am going to completely fall apart. I don't think I _am_ going to completely fall apart but I don't think I'm going to be 100% OK either. I have that sliding feeling, that sickness in the throat. At least I don't think that it will neccessarily take me straight down to hell; this has been going on (up and down) for a week now, and it hasn't happened yet. I see my trials coordinator and my pnurse today, so people are keeping an eye on things. But there's nothing else they can do. There's nothing anyone can do, except me. Sisyphus, pushing my stone uphill. J Web page at http://dspace.dial.pipex.com/town/close/xhq10/mem.htm I've been Jay H, Canarybird, Empty Cage, Serin, Phoenix, even Crow. Let's see if I can stick with this one for a while.

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